China has been pretty overwhelming for me. Shanghai is a huge city with buildings that hold 2,000-3,000 people. The buildings are exactly the same, literally there'd be 20 or 30 buildings that are exactly the same all next to each other. And then down on the ground there's beggars. More beggars than I've ever seen before. Mostly old men, some families, some mums with their little children/child. They all get ignored by the high flyers or should I say high risers. On my first night I went out with a friend of mine. I was simply overwhelmed by the number of beggars. My belief is that you should always give, but as soon as I gave I was surrounded by all the other beggars around and they all wanted more more more. I came across a man in a really horrific way. He would have been 60 years old, he was laying face down on the ground, sobbing and banging
his head on the cement. This was next to the Bund which is a huge tourist attraction. I walked past him with my friend and her family and came up to the Bund (basically just a platform on the harbour) where there was a huge crowd of people taking photos of all the tall buildings and flashy light displays, laughing and smiling, and I just felt sick. I went back to the man and sat with him. I put my hand under his head so he wouldn't be banging it anymore. At some point I started crying with him. I can't remember exactly. He ended up sitting up. Seeing the tears falling down his face made me even worse. Then I became aware that people were stopping around us. I couldn't look at them but started to feel some hope that perhaps they (mostly Chinese people) would help. How mistaken I was. They all started taking photos like this man and I were some sort of tourist attraction. It was
SICKENING. The man then got scared and got up on his frail legs. His legs were bowed out, he didn't have any shoes, his feet were filthy and battered, like all of his body. He had a small black plastic bag that I suppose his whole life is in. He stumbled away, I went with him for a little while, he was still sobbing, and then he said bye and went off, with this look of fright and pain on his face that burns in me. That was my introduction to Shanghai.
The next day was much better as a truly extraordinary thing happened to me, I would call it a miracle. I came into the city by the metro, got out and started walking down Central Tibet Road. I didn't get very far before I came across a musician. The music was utterly captivating, and though it was in Chinese I would tell immediately that he was there with a message. He was a hippie, young man with long hair, a look of determination on his face. He had posters set out on the ground in front of him. Clearly his message was a political one. There was a big crowd around him. I listened to him, took photos of him. As I started taking photos of his posters he was pulled up. It
was the police. The police woman spoke to him and the musician had a friend that rolled up the posters while the musician packed up his guitar and amp. I tried to speak to him but he didn't speak English. So I just gave him the thumbs up and then clapped for him. I expected everyone else to join me in clapping but no one else did. Anyway, the musician said thank you to me a number of times and then left. I felt so inspired by him and the courage he had shown. I don't think this sort of thing happens often in China and so I believe I am truly blessed to have been a witness and minor participant in such an event. I realise that there was some risk for me being there, taking photos,
but really my risk of having my camera taken, being deported etc is nothing compared to what he risked. Showing him support was the least I could do. I was disappointed after though, when I told my friend about it she wasn't the least bit interested in the musician's message or courage, and instead told me off as she considered that I was putting her and her husband at risk since I was staying with her. It is amazing how powerful fear can be.
Xian has been similar but perhaps a bit better. The Terracotta warriors were simply amazing. Completely violence/killing-worship in nature but nonetheless very interesting. There is a huge amount of beggars here. Again I was overwhelmed by them, I gave some money and then was swamped by them. I ended going to a market and buying some green bean cake which comes in little packets and giving out handfuls of those. All of the beggars loved them and I had heaps to spare so I think I'm just going to go around with reserves from now on. The last lady and child I gave them to were asleep on the pavement the first time I passed, and then when I gave them the green bean cake they were both so happy that as I walked away I would glance back and the lady
would wave to me, a big smi le on her face. The beggars are certainly overwhelming, but the reward for showing them kindness is immeasurable. I just wish I was here for longer and could get them into shelters with some sort of long-term solution.
These experiences are helping me develop my understanding of the world. Our world is so wrong. I should mention, the pollution here is horrific - the rivers, the air, everything is simply awful. To the
level that it is ever present and makes people sick - from the rich to the poor. The problem in all this is that for some bizarre reason we value material outcomes in life, the fancy apartments, the gadgets, the fancy clothes, all the status symbols that we can get our hands on. We value
being number 1, the competitive spirit infects all of us. This form of living means that a person can exploit another, feel as though they are not responsible for another's misery, and then amazingly walk past someone who is suffering and is truly desperate and not even glance at them. They do not feel the need to show compassion as they have all their status symbols and a beggar can offer them no more material benefits or help them climb the social ladder. This is all terribly wrong. To my mind and heart, a society that creates and reinforces this world (and let's face it, Australia is pretty much exactly the same) is a society that has failed. What does any of that flashy crap
mean if even one person's suffering is ignored, or if the land is polluted and exploited so badly that the only fitting term is "rape". I'm sick of it all. I simply can't believe that people buy in for this crap.
On my bright note, I do feel hope when I think of that musician. I had another friend translate some of the posters and he couldn't get it all but it said something like "People are suffering" and "This has gone on too long." I am so inspired by this musician's courage, his commitment to truth and kindness, his determination. As long as there are people like him there is hope. At the spiritual level, I know that I was meant to see this man. Neither of my friends have ever seen anything like this
despite living in Shanghai for some time. I didn't go out looking for political protesters, I was just strolling along being a tourist. I believe my spirit guided me there and guided my actions. Before seeing him I was having that awful feeling again that I am such a freak that I question whether I belong here at all. But I know that I belonged in that moment, my applause was the perfect match for his music, just as I belonged with that old beggar. Even when we're in the smallest minority, even just of one, we still belong.
So this has been China. I go to Beijing today and then leave on Wednesday on the trans-siberian. This is a long blog so if you've got this far BRAVO!! Peace, Keely
